To remember is key
by Fire Element13
Summary: Theresa Lisbon has put a lot of dangerous criminals behind bars during her illustrious career as an agent of the law but that's about to catch up to her when someone from her past decides to make her pay for it... starting with her life. Jisbon.
1. Chapter 1

I think I am obsessed. This is my 2nd mentalist fanfiction in just a few days. I need professional help. I wish I had the talent to write one-shots but i never seem to be able to write all I have to say in just one chapter. I need to learn.

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It was the dripping noise that stirred Theresa Lisbon from her bleak unconsciousness state. The noise seemed so far away to her ears but her skin said differently. She dimly listened to the watery sound like she would the pulse of a heartbeat. It took her a good while to register that the cold water was dripping against her hand.

Her eyelids struggled to flutter open and for a terrifying moment all she could see was darkness and blurry details. Eventually her vision sharpened and she was left with the sight of a strange high ceiling and wondered where she was. The beginning of fear knot itself fiercely in the pit of her stomach. How did she get here? Where was she? Where was her team?

Slowly she turned her head to the side but the unexpected pain in her head stopped her dead. She bit hard on her lip to stop the cry of pain threatening to escape. Her vision swam for a few seconds as bile rose in her throat. It felt like someone had thrown a chair over her skull.

Once the pain was reduced to a dull throb, very carefully she scanned the unfamiliar surroundings. She was curled up against a corner, lying on her back and on the barren floor with just the darkness for company. The only illumination she had was from the slight lights coming through the high windows.

The walls had once been a white color but were now a decrepit memory collecting dust on the floor. There were a few wooden crates and moldy cardboard boxes thrown here and there but other than that the place seemed deserted. In the end her eyes trailed back to the high windows because they tugged at her memory. And then she figured it out. Why was she lying alone in an abandoned warehouse?

Lisbon tried moving but found it harder to do than she last remembered. She seemed sore for some reason except for the burning pain in her stomach. With one shaking hand she reached down and gently touched it. She winced at the resulting ache but found it manageable. But it still took all her strength to sit up. Even so, every movement sent a throbbing pain though her that caused her to yell out. The violent pain in her stomach was beginning to take its toll but she ignored it as panic-fueled adrenaline allowed her legs to gain the strength to lift her battered body to a stand.

Lisbon's breathing had become labored and loud just from such a simple action but her training was allowing her to keep some of her sanity. Automatically and as fast as her bruised body would let her, she reached for her gun to find it missing, just like her cell phone. Suddenly she began seeing black dots but forced them away knowing that fainting was not going to help. Her weak knees were threatening to buckle under her small weight but with sheer will she kept upright.

Her mind was screaming at her that she needed to get out of here before… Before what? Lisbon's green eyes stared unseeingly ahead as she forced herself to remember what exactly was causing this irrational fear. But as hard as she might, she just couldn't remember anything. Her instincts were telling her something but her mind couldn't put it together. And it was right on the tip of her tongue, like a dire warning she needed to understand quickly.

One step at a time she limped with great effort towards the closest door of the vacant warehouse. However the more sound she made, the more her fear increased at the unknown threat that loomed in the shadow of her mind. It terrified her that her body was scared but she herself couldn't remember what the danger was. Terror continued to consume Lisbon until each step was made with a barely repressed fearful sob. Each step was an arduous and time-consuming process as she tried to focus her attention on reaching the door instead of the increasing pulsing pain within her body. Her muscles felt like they hadn't been used in weeks. Lisbon's ragged breath hissed through her clenched teeth until she finally reached the door shaking and barely standing upright. The small woman threw herself at it uncaring of what was waiting for her on the other side, she just wanted to get out!

To her surprise the door wasn't locked and even swung soundlessly as it opened. Lisbon laughed in relief but the movement sent a shooting pain through her abdomen nearly making her fall to the ground. Outside she was hit with the darkness and the moonlight's faint glimmer. The streetlights that worked helped her decide on which path to take.

Carefully looking around for any sign of life, she turned right hoping it would lead to a street. However she soon realized she was in an area that people didn't visit much as she counted the number of abandoned looking buildings around.

But close by she saw the familiar shape of a pay phone. With a newfound sense of determination, Lisbon hobbled to it, her eyes never stopping their search for any sign of recognition.

With a tremendous sense of triumph, she unsteadily raised a hand and dialed 9-1-1. Her adrenaline rush was quickly leaving her system making her feel even more light-headed than when she woke up. She rested her head against the metallic box exhaling loudly as the full extent of her injuries was now gaining in strength and she was quickly losing hers.

"911, state your emergency," the robotic female voice said in her ear.

However Theresa Lisbon didn't know what to answer. She closed her eyes and kept them so to stop the spinning that was beginning to make her queasy.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Are you hurt?"

"Yes," Lisbon replied, her voice raspy and low, sounding like a harsh whisper.

"Where are you ma'am?" asked the dispatcher in a neutral manner. No fear, no panic. Just cool professionalism. It comforted Lisbon slightly.

"I…I don't know."

A tense silence ensued but the woman quickly recovered. "Please stay on the line ma'am. We are going to get a trace on your location and an ambulance will be right there."

But Lisbon was no longer listening as the darkness she had fought so hard engulfed her at last and she fell to the ground out cold. Luckily the call didn't disconnect.

And somewhere in the still California night air, all that could be heard were the faint hellos coming from the swinging receiver getting louder and louder over Lisbon's still body.

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Oooohhhhh! Even I like this chapter. REVIEWS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED :D


	2. Chapter 2

Wow what a response! Thanks to all that reviewed, it was very much appreciated!!!!!!!! And please continue!

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Another warm morning descended upon the CBI building in Sacramento, completely oblivious to the turmoil the structure had seen lately. A few employees were just beginning to arrive for work, among those early risers, Agent Kimball Cho. Simply put, he looked like hell. He hadn't rested even though he had been strictly ordered yesterday by Minelli to go home and get some sleep, as had Van Pelt, Rigsby and Jane after another intense day of fruitless labour. Everyone had been working non-stop with the help of other agencies trying to locate Lisbon. However Jane had ignored the order. He had only swiveled his blond head to look at the chief impassively and then quietly returned to Lisbon's old case files he had been studying all day. Minelli had expected as much.

Therefore it came as no further surprise to Cho when he saw Patrick Jane still sitting at his desk, fatigue marring his features as he hunched over his messy desk. They didn't exchange a word as Cho got to his own seat and just stared aimlessly ahead. The CBI agent wasn't used to not knowing what to do and he was infuriated that he wasn't doing his all to find his boss and friend. Three days was a long time to not have any solid lead.

This wasn't supposed to happen when it was one of their own that was missing, he thought numbly. The forensics team had gone through her ransacked apartment with a fine-toothed comb while the CBI team hovered around waiting, taking in the disastrous state of Lisbon's home.

But their investigations, because there had been many, hadn't come up with any substantial evidence to examine nor had they uncovered a specific threat to interrogate. Some of the evidence was still being processed in the lab and would take a few more days for conclusive results so Cho was hoping they would get a hit. He just hoped they weren't too late. His mind took some time processing the last words, echoing loudly in his head. What if they were already too late? What if they were never going to find her? Cho froze, not moving a clenched muscle, his black eyes glazing over as if he was finally struck with the reality of it all.

Suddenly Cho slammed the desk with his open palm in anger causing Jane to jump up. He chose not to comment as he carefully watched Cho lean forward and put his elbows onto the desk, rubbing his tired eyes with his hands. The consultant didn't need to be an expert to know Cho was getting close to his breaking point. But then again, so was he.

Returning to the forensic report in front of him, Jane refrained from sighing. He knew he wasn't going to find anything that would click something into place because he had already read and reread it a dozen times before. But he was frantically clinging to the hope that a new idea would strike him eventually, sooner rather than later. The passage of time was getting loud in his head.

They had done everything procedure dictated, like Lisbon would have told them to had she been here: interrogated every witness, checked phone records, credit card activity, any threatening communications or restraining orders made to or by Lisbon in the last five years at least. They simply could not find a trace of anything or anyone that had been out of place. Even Jane's meticulousness hadn't amounted to anything concrete and he had done some things the boss wouldn't have liked if she had been present.

Indication of their hard work was everywhere in the office. Piles of papers were scattered around randomly and empty coffee cups were discarded everywhere. A large map of Sacramento and it surroundings was posted on a wall with recent wear and tear. Different colored markings and pins were on it showing every step and lead the CBI team has come up with and followed through only to hit a dead end. The uncomfortable feeling of desperation was making itself acutely known within the team. The local police department had already begun searching with dog teams in the woody areas for a body. The CBI team had chosen not to participate.

One idea though was still to be explored but no one had dared to mention it out loud because that possibility would only lead to utter finality.

Red John.

The killer's involvement in this had passed everyone's mind, especially Jane's, the second he got the call that her place had been broken into with her missing. Even though logically he knew, he really did, that this was not the serial killer's style, Jane couldn't stop the trickle of fear down his spine every time he thought about Lisbon not sitting in her office and it could be his fault... again. It was irrational, something he was unaccustomed to, but the terror lingered in his mind. He wasn't going to admit to anyone but that thought alone had stopped his sleeping altogether.

Suddenly the shrill ringing of Cho's cell phone broke the silence. Automatically he reached into his pocket and answered, "Cho."

Jane didn't even bother listening to the one-sided conversation until he heard the other man's tone change drastically to that of disbelief.

"Oh my God, where is she?" Cho said urgently getting up and reaching for his wallet and keys. Immediately Jane was on his feet, alert and hopeful that the she was Lisbon. He waited as the other person on the line continued talking, plunging the office into an almost painful silence.

"We'll be right there." Hanging up Cho looked at the blond man and smiled. "She's in the hospital. Lisbon is actually in the hospital."

Jane wobbled under the sudden rush of relief and happiness. Without losing any time, they ran into one of CBI's SUV and headed straight towards the hospital at high speed, ignoring street lights and even some pedestrians. They had a goal now and it was real. Numerous questions kept popping into Jane's head but he was doing his best to suppress them, focusing on seeing Lisbon alive. Right now he wouldn't let himself think of how hurt Lisbon was. She was alive, Jane kept repeating to himself, she was alive.

Van Pelt and Rigsby were waiting for them outside the main entrance and actually smiled as they came into view. They entered the building together and quickly made their way to the Intensive Care Unit. From the distance, Jane could see Minelli walking back and forth in front of the nurses's station, seemingly lost in thought. As they walked up to the CBI director, he quickly stopped his pacing.

Van Pelt was the first one to speak up. "How is she?"

Minelli kept his eyes trained on a spot on the ground, trying to come up with the right words that could fully explain Lisbon's condition, make them all feel better and relieved that she was now safe but he couldn't really. There were just too many questions that needed answering in his professional opinion which made the situation that much more dangerous.

"She's alive, that's all that matters. No permanent damage, though a bit dehydrated with a severe concussion. She'll have to stay here for a few days," he said to the point, pinching his nose as if that would take away his growing migraine. That seemed to appease the team as their rigid stances slacked somewhat once they'd heard the actual words.

Minelli finally got a good look at his number one team and seemed to realize just how much they all looked like crap, each one sporting their own different style of exhaustion. None of them had gotten much sleep since Lisbon's disappearance and one in particular had had none although no one knew. Van Pelt's eyes were bloodshot from the countless hours spent in front of laptops trying to find electronic leads that would help them find Lisbon. Cho had mercilessly chewed out countless suspects, each one dragged in violently by Rigsby. Not to mention the many hours each agent had spent outside physically searching and asking questions.

Patrick Jane, who was usually so happy to talk and be listened to had become silent. The only time anything was heard from him was when one of the criminals they were questioning refused to cooperate. He had calmly put on his jacket and walked into the interrogation room seemingly relaxed. But all hell had broken loose the minute he faced the suspect as he had used every bit of his expertise and knowledge to assault him psychologically until he had rendered him to a mere gawking and fearful individual at his words. Jane didn't care what he said and how unfair his advantage over people was, he had used it to its full capacity knowing Lisbon was out there somewhere, alive, needing his help. He had done all that without raising his voice even once.

Jane had been observing the chief's face as he went through a wide array of emotions that he probably didn't even know he was projecting. As expected he saw sadness, relief, even a little bit of shock. But what surprised him was the surge of dismay he saw descending on the older man's shoulders like an invisible shroud. It left Jane fearful of what he was going to see once he entered Lisbon's room. But he quickly refocused on his mantra. She was alive.

"The doctors said only one visitor at a time," Minelli's words pierced through Jane's thoughts. They all nodded, knowing that that was standard protocol in hospitals.

"Of course," Jane answered pleasantly. "I'll wait."

He looked around, spotted a close-by couch and sat down. Casually, he crossed one leg over his knee, making himself comfortable for the wait. It was only fair that the others go first since they all had known Lisbon longer than he had. Besides, he wanted to use the extra time to gather his thoughts. No one found Jane's request odd so they didn't question it. Cho was the first one to see Lisbon. The click of his shoes got faster the closer he got to her room. No one felt the need to make small talk as they all spread out and waited pensively for their own turn. Now nerves were settling in at what had happened to Lisbon.

Fifteen minutes later, Cho had returned. His previous look of relief was replaced to something akin to controlled rage in Jane's opinion. He kept rubbing his chin while the other hand remained tightly on his waist.

"What's wrong?" Van Pelt asked in concern. Even Jane had gotten up to cluster around the Asian man.

"We need to find the bastard who did this," Cho said, his slanted eyes narrowed in anger. He looked each agent in the eye as if communicating some silent message he didn't dare say in public and they all visibly stiffened.

Cho didn't wait for an answer as he abruptly left, muttering something about needing coffee. Minelli followed, adding that he also wouldn't mind some caffeine in his system. But it was just so the younger agent wasn't left alone.

Van Pelt looked hesitant, some of her courage leaving her at going in alone. Rigsby seemed to sense this as he touched her arm causing her to look at him in alarm.

"Screw what the doctors say, let's go," he said decisively.

Jane knew it wasn't the right time, but he was impressed with Rigsby at that moment. Van Pelt's lips formed a small smile at his suggestion. Together, they went into Lisbon's room, leaving Jane alone. Now, the full force of his doubts and fears assaulted him. What had happened to her? Who would do such a thing? Why hadn't there been more evidence? Why didn't he find her? These common questions were quickly replaced by more personal ones he didn't want to think of right now. What was he going to say?

Before he could come to a satisfying conclusion, Van Pelt and Rigsby were walking towards him. Although they weren't as shook up as Cho had been, Rigsby had one arm around Van Pelt's shoulder in a gesture of support. Jane didn't take his eyes away from them as they came to a stop in front of him.

Shaking his head, Rigsby sighed and said, "She's a fighter, she'll be fine in no time, you'll see. And then she'll bust the guy who did this herself."

Grace nodded vigorously, her eyes wider than usual and jaw clenched. She wasn't going into shock but she was close. As they were leaving, Rigsby patted Jane on the shoulder as if saying good luck. Inhaling deeply, Jane slowly walked towards room 1012. The closer he got, the louder his heartbeat thumped in his ears until all he could hear was the roar of his blood. Before he opened the door, he took one last deep breath and entered.

Immediately his blue eyes were drawn towards the single occupant in the hospital bed.

Jane couldn't move. The intense relief he felt as he saw Lisbon's chest rise and fall was mixed with an incredible desire to destroy the person who had done this. Only her arms and face were exposed to his scrutiny while the rest of her body was hidden underneath the sheet, but it was enough. The skin that wasn't bruised was so pale it almost matched the white sheets that covered her small body. His eyes were fixated on the finger marks on her bruised neck. They seemed to taunt him with their very presence. Jane wanted to find the owner of those fingers and break them, one by one. His eyes roamed over each dark purple bruise noting the sizeable ones on her wrists and upper arms. Jane wanted badly to close his eyes and look away because he didn't want to hear his observations any longer.

Lisbon had been tortured.

He could see all too well where the ropes had dug into her small wrists as she had fought against them. Her face was beaten with red gashes on both cheeks while one eye was surrounded by a paling yellow bruise. Her lower lip was split from the force that had struck her but had already started to heal slightly. There were just too many smaller cuts to count and he didn't want to.

Lisbon must have heard him approach because her eyes slowly opened. Jane's breathing stopped as blue and green made contact. For the first time since they met, Jane was the first one to look away.

"I look that bad, huh?" she said weakly, her voice a raspy whisper. "Well so do you. All of you."

Jane wanted to laugh but couldn't find the energy. He appreciated that she was trying to lighten the mood but felt that that should be his job right now. He approached until he was right next to her, so close he could grasp her hand but didn't. She just looked so frail lying there, he was afraid to break anything if he touched her. Silently he observed her, ignoring her staring back at him. Jane was so grateful she was alive he felt dizzy.

Finally, his eyes roamed back to hers and said as calmly as he could, "What happened?"

He could almost see her mentally shut down as she turned her head away from him. Jane knew she didn't want to talk about it but the very thought that the person who had done this was still out there somewhere made him sick.

"Lisbon?" he said softly. No response.

"Lisbon?" A little louder this time.

As gently as he could so as not to hurt her, he placed his hand over her smaller one. "Theresa."

Her eyes were suddenly on him again, a little shocked that he had used her first name. He didn't waste time in celebrating this small victory though. "Please," he said imploringly, his honesty reflected in his eyes. "Tell me anything you can. We'll do the rest."

Lisbon's face remained stoic but her eyes quickly flicked back and forth between him and the wall. Jane was immediately on edge recognizing the signs. She was preparing to lie to him. But she wasn't doing so out of shame he noted, but out of some other reason.

"I don't remember," she whispered as strongly as she could while she licked her chapped lips. Slowly, she averted her eyes to stare at the ceiling, not wanting to look into those direct blue eyes any longer. Even worried and extremely tired looking, Jane still was the handsomest man she had ever seen. Meanwhile Jane remained quiet, waiting for her to add something, anything, but she didn't.

"Alright," Jane answered. He removed his warm hand from hers and she almost flinched as the colder air made contact with her skin. "If you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me. Or anyone. Please?"

All Lisbon could do was nod her head yes. She hadn't missed that he wanted her to call him first or that he seemed to be begging her to ask for his help. As she was mulling his words over in her head, Patrick Jane casually leaned in and placed a tender kiss upon her forehead. Despite herself, Lisbon blushed. And she blushed further when she heard him chuckle.

"Glad to see some things will never change," he said, smiling truly for the first time in days.

She felt her lips tug themselves into a small smile of their own. Whispering a slight sleep tight, Jane exited her room in that quiet way of his.

Finally alone, Lisbon tried to do just that, sleep. She was no longer in too much pain thanks to the medication they had given her although she knew she looked bad. Now that she was more clear-headed some of what she had been through was becoming clearer. Doctors said the concussion was mostly to blame for her disorganized memories which could come back to her at any time or not at all. The hit to her head had been severe when they found her lying near the phone booth.

Although Lisbon still didn't remember the details of what had happened or why, she did remember the feeling of being trapped and afraid.

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I wanted to end this chapter on a lighter note because this story is going to get a little darker later on. Yes i know, amnesia, how cliche. But it fits in well in this story. I'm just setting the mood. Don't worry, she'll remember eventually. Reviews? :)


	3. Chapter 3

"There's no business like Cho business." - Patrick Jane, _Crimson Casanova_

One of the greatest lines from this show to date. Go Cho!

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The 'do not cross tape' was still soundly wrapped around the entrance to the warehouse, its yellow a striking discord to the dull gray of the background. The local police had already been all over the abandoned structure and its surroundings as had forensics the night. Now it was finally CBI's turn. The team would have gotten there sooner but had lingered in the hospital. Jane had struck up a casual conversation with Minelli about the weather only to conclude how Lisbon's room needed to be guarded at all times. It wasn't much of a segway but had been effective nonetheless. A police officer was now posted at her door only allowing very limited visitors. There had been no argument from anyone on that idea because they were all painfully aware that the kidnapper was still out there.

But now that Jane stood on the street in front of this innocuous building, he was struck with how things just didn't add up. His keen attention kept being drawn to the phone booth which Lisbon had used to call from. He couldn't help but stare at it all the while thinking that had this small piece of technology not been there, Lisbon might have never been found. Calmly he looked both way and crossed the street, ignoring the rush of uneasiness he was beginning to feel the more his mind continued to process what he saw. Jane positioned himself in front of the booth and just stood there with his arms crossed for a few minutes, visually calculating the distance between the yellow tape and the phone. It seemed to be merely fifty feet in his opinion.

He then swiveled his head to get a better look down the road in the direction where the few other sizeable buildings were Jane had noticed on the ride here. There weren't many and they were all spaced out significantly but they had that decrepit air only years of disuse tended to create. Jane nodded his head once, satisfied with his findings and set out to join the rest of the team within the building.

Inside Jane's eyes had to adjust to the semi-darkness due to the lack of electricity and the limited natural light. Only the light beams from the three agents' flashlights further illuminated the place. The length and area of the empty space was impressive, bringing to mind the amount of supplies this place had once held. Van Pelt and Rigsby were walking along the left and right walls respectively while Cho was crouched in the far left corner of the building seemingly absorbed in thought. Only Van Pelt's and Rigsby's flashlights moved rhythmically to and fro in front of them as they systematically examined the floor while Cho's remained fixed on one spot in front of him. Jane approached the solitary agent wondering what had him so transfixed.

Once he got there he didn't need to ask what had the other man so immersed because he could now clearly see the blood illuminated by the flashlight. Jane's face remained impassive but his pulse had violently quickened at the sight. He didn't tear his eyes away until finally Cho moved the light away, maybe noticing Jane staring or he himself couldn't look at it any longer. Either way that seemed to snap Jane out of his trance. However he couldn't help but take one last look at the now darkened spot on the ground as he followed Cho to their other teammates.

"So?" asked Cho once the team was assembled.

"Nothing that hasn't already been found," Rigsby answered grimly as he rubbed his face with his palms.

"No there was a specific reason he brought Lisbon here," Jane noted, his eyes calmly roaming around. "There are other abandoned places he could have put her without working phones near them. So why take her here?"

"He didn't have time to place her elsewhere," Cho ventured, not liking the direction this was taking.

"Or he didn't think she would manage to get away in her condition," added Van Pelt.

"The paramedics didn't find her tied up in any shape or form nor did the police find anything that could have been used to limit her motion in here," Jane answered pointing in the direction the blood was. "Besides the door wasn't locked."

Jane began pacing back and forth, a sure sign that he was unto something. He didn't bother to bask in the attention like he usually did when all eyes were on him. "So if the doors weren't locked and Lisbon-" here Jane paused once more hit with the realization that this wasn't just any regular case. He tried again. "And if Lisbon hadn't been tied up that only leads to one conclusion."

"I don't understand," Van Pelt said quietly although she was beginning to comprehend where Jane was going with this.

Cho and Rigsby were now looking intently at Jane fearing what he was going to say next. The consultant stopped his pacing and looked at them, seeing the dread barely hidden on all of their features.

"He wanted her to escape," Jane grimly answered their unspoken question.

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_Lisbon was in her kitchen apartment still dressed in her work wear minus work's accessories, waiting for the water heater to come to a boil so she could pour its content into the waiting cup. She could almost feel the steam rising from the opening reach her face from her spot against the opposite kitchen counter. _

_Finally with a strident hissing sound, the machine turned itself off signaling its content was at full boil. Not hesitating, Lisbon moved forward and began pouring the water thus making her green tea complete. She felt herself smile as she raised the cup to her lips fully prepared for the scalding liquid to burn her tongue. Lisbon didn't mind the feeling._

_Suddenly, a black clothed limb wound itself around her neck and waist causing her to drop the ceramic cup to shatter on the floor. Immediately she began struggling, managing to hit whoever it was in the stomach twice. Only on the second hit did the assailant loosen his grip which allowed Lisbon to turn around and punch him directly in the stomach._

_Vaguely her mind registered that he didn't have a face because it was hidden behind some sort of cloth. As he doubled over, Lisbon nimbly ran around him cursing herself for leaving her gun on the living room table. But before she could get to it she was fiercely struck on the head from behind. Lisbon immediately fell limply onto the floor feeling herself on the edge of oblivion. The pain was excruciating and she felt an unusual warmth starting to descend from the wound. Her hazy mind informed her that she was bleeding. But she still tried to struggle even in her condition. With all her might she continued her advance in a crawl towards where she knew her gun to be. It was her only solution at this point. _

_When she started seeing big black spots obscure her vision, she knew she was going to lose consciousness soon. She suddenly heard the attacker's footsteps stop right behind her and then felt herself turned over onto her back._

_All she saw were two ordinary brown eyes staring down menacingly at her while he reached for her throat. _

Theresa Lisbon's eyes flew wide open as she yelled a silent scream and struggled to breathe. She gasped and coughed as her eyes tried to get some bearing. For a few scary seconds she didn't recognize where she was until she finally saw the IV drip on the right of her bed. Suddenly she remembered she was in a hopsital but that didn't stop her from shaking. Lisbon shook and trembled until she felt herself go stiff. She tried to relax, telling herself it had just been a dream and that she was safe now. But no matter how many times she repeated it in her own head, it didn't lessen the panic.

Her previous wounds seemed to rebel as they too started aching painfully once more. None more so than the stab wounds in her stomach. Those were the worst of her injuries. When the shakes were finally done, Lisbon felt herself completely depleted of energy. Soon enough her clammy skin was cooling down and making her shiver from cold, not terror. Idly she looked at her room door dreading that someone was going to come in and see he like this. In the end she remained alone and for that she was relieved. She must not have screamed out loud when she woke up then.

Despite what she had just witnessed, Lisbon tried to remember what she had seen that could identify the attacker. But nothing other than his eyes came to mind. The senior agent tried not to dwell too long on the look of pure hatred he had shown her when she had passed out. All of it had felt too real to just be a nightmare. She could almost smell the green tea she had been making. There was no other explanation. What she had just dreamed must have been how it had happened that night in her apartment. But how did he get in and without her hearing him? What did he want? And more importantly, who was he?

Suddenly, Lisbon felt angry at what had happened to her. No one should have to go through what she had been. If this monster was targeting women, then she was going to stop him personally. She was going to make this bastard pay by finding him first and she was going to to finish this if it was the last thing she did.

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Reviews??? I practically live on them!


	4. Chapter 4

Van Pelt was doing her best to remain patient. The program she had running on her laptop was taking some time gathering all the necessary names of the people Lisbon had either arrested or brought in for questioning. Before they had only focused on a five-year window but had now increased it to include the boss' entire career. Needless to say it was quite an undertaking.

Jane meanwhile seemed to be intensely observing the screen, watching as each name appeared. To the outside world he looked like he was paying attention but in reality his mind kept going round and round thinking the same thing over again. Specifically that with each little sequence of letters that got added to the already long list of suspects was yet another person that had potential motive to hurt Lisbon. Just looking at all those people somberly reminded Jane how risky Lisbon's career had been up to this point. He let his blue eyes wander around to look at the three agents and wondered what was in their own pasts that could come back and haunt them.

For half an hour afterwards Jane hovered silently over Van Pelt's shoulder waiting and it was beginning to annoy her. It wasn't so much his presence that got on her nerves but the fact that he had to sigh so dramatically every few minutes. It was as if he was bored and was taking it out on her.

"Do you mind?" she finally snapped as she looked over her shoulder.

"Hmm?" Jane answered absentmindedly, his eyes glued to the laptop. He finally felt more than saw her glaring at him and outstretched his hands apologetically as he took a small step back.

Van Pelt returned her focus to the screen and was pleased to see the program had stopped its search. Her eyebrows rose though when she saw the final number.

"Well there are over seven thousand names and those are just the ones on record," Van Pelt announced loudly enough so that Cho and Rigsby could hear.

"Damn," muttered Rigsby from his desk.

"Well we can narrow it down right away," Jane said not at all sounding perturbed by the sheer volume of possible suspects presented to them. "We are looking for a male between the ages of 25 to 45 in all probability arrested and most likely convicted of his crime due to Lisbon's direct involvement."

In any other situation Van Pelt would have asked why or how he had come to that conclusion but refrained from doing so. As she was about to type in the given criteria Jane added almost as an afterthought, "Or some sort of very personal vendetta."

Now unsure of what to type in Van Pelt slowly asked, "Personal how? There aren't exactly files stacked away marked personal."

"Oh I know that," Jane answered matter-of-fact, his face the epitome of innocence as he redirected his attention back to the screen.

"Besides we already looked for any threats made against the boss or restraining orders taken out by her," said Rigsby. "Whoever this guy is, he's remained quiet for quite some time. Who knows, he might still be in jail and paid someone to do this."

Jane continued to stare seemingly spaced out as he mulled something over.

Van Pelt noticed and asked, "What is it?"

The agents all directed their attention to the Jane and waited silently for him to make one of his psychic remarks but he remained unusually quiet. Typically he would be basking in this much attention but he showed none of the childish glee he was becoming very known for. At this point the agents would gladly welcome one of his eerie, taken-out-of-thin-air insights if it could get them closer to the culprit. Even Cho was ready to leap into action based solely on Jane's idea, lack of evidence not even an issue at this point. They would find it later for the sake of protocol.

Finally Jane seemed to snap out of his pensive state, looked at the three agents and just shrugged half-heartedly not saying a word. Rigsby and Cho exchanged a look with the latter just shaking his head in irritation. After all this was Jane and Jane was well, quirky.

"Alright, I'll continue on this and try to find anything from Lisbon's past case files that has 'personal issues' somehow involved, " Van Pelt suggested. "But I am splitting this in three so I'm sending the list to you guys as well.

"Good thinking Van Pelt. Time is of the essence," Jane added, helpful as ever.

No one needed to ask why nor did anyone comment when Van Pelt didn't include Jane in the shared workload. Everyone knew that he wasn't very fond of working with computers. For some reason he would always choose to go through the official papers than the electronic files. No one had ever asked why though. So it came as no surprise when Jane left them and entered the boss' empty office. Who knew? He might actually deduct something from there. As absurd as it sounded anything was possible with the mentalist.

Jane quietly closed the door behind him and let his eyes roam around the still atmosphere of Lisbon's work area. It felt odd not seeing her behind her work desk. He walked around the desk and sat himself on the chair almost hoping Lisbon would barge in yelling at him to get out. Jane sighed realizing that he was reminiscing too much and started to wonder why he had come in here in the first place. It wasn't like he was going to find some secret from the mute walls surrounding him and last time he checked walls didn't blush either.

Jane leaned back and crossed one ankle over his knee, resting his elbows on the armrests as he slowly began dissecting everything that had gone through his mind over the past few days. Previously unconnected information was becoming clearer as he mentally sorted everything he had seen. Firstly there was Lisbon's apartment. The place had looked plain normal, not what one usually expects after an abduction. Really the only thing wrong was the fact that nothing had been out of place. Only the smashed cup in the kitchen showed that something unexpected had happened otherwise Lisbon's apartment had been pristine. She probably didn't even hear him come in Jane assumed at this point because otherwise she would have been prepared to defend herself.

Her apartment had been searched for her gun but it was later determined that it was missing as it wasn't at the CBI building or with Lisbon. That left the probability that the attacker had taken it with him. Jane had initially thought that the attacker had taken it with the intent to use Lisbon's own weapon against her like some sort of meaningful act of revenge. Such thoughts plagued his nights even more than usual. Thankfully he had been wrong. There weren't many times Jane was found to be incorrect but he was extremely happy that he had been.

Then there was also the location the criminal had chosen to leave Lisbon in. There were just too many red flags in Jane's opinion to be a mere miscalculation on the guy's part. He had left her there without any precautions to prevent her from getting away. Even the least skilled of criminal minds knew the basics of restraining a victim. It didn't make sense that the same individual who managed to break into a CBI agent's apartment would make such a vital mistake.

No, it all felt intentional to Jane and that scared him more than anything. He sensed an underlying purpose to each and every act the assailant had committed up until now. There was a plan in motion and the person was carrying it out in minute detail, hence the lack of mistakes. However at this point in time all Jane could do was make these assumptions because of the lack of concrete information. But one thing he knew for sure: the person hadn't finished with Lisbon. On the contrary, it was just the beginning and it was going to escalate from here on. These were the clear actions of a person who had nothing to lose. Jane didn't believe the abducter was deranged or crazy, no he was far from that. This was a very angry person.

Slowly the consultant rubbed his chin, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He was deeply troubled about what Lisbon's attacker was planning next. If only they had even the slightest piece of evidence that could help him get a feel for the guy. You didn't need to be a psychologist to know this was revenge driven.

Suddenly the door burst open and Van Pelt entered looking a lot tenser than when he had seen her last. "Jane, come and take a look at this."

His immediate reaction was that they had finally found a solid lead so he wasted no time in getting out the door following Van Pelt's quick strides. However his hopes came crashing down when he saw the three agents clustered together around what appeared to be some sort of letter.

As he got closer he noticed that it was indeed a small, rectangular envelope. He raised an eyebrow but didn't get the time to comment as his eyes read the name on it.

"When did this get here?" Jane asked grimly, his eyes never leaving the letter. Cho was looking at it like it was going to bite someone at any moment.

"We don't know. But that-," Rigsby said with a trace of venom in his voice, "-wasn't here yesterday, that's for sure."

"It could be a harmless letter sent by one of Lisbon's friends?" ventured Van Pelt sounding slightly hopeful.

"Doubtful," Cho said in his usual monotone. "Writing letters went out of style a decade ago thanks to email."

Van Pelt just nodded absently as she crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn't really thought it was from a friend anyway. But then that left the worst case scenario open. All of them remained silent hoping someone else would read it. As Jane didn't sense that any of the agents was going to reach for the envelope first, he made a move to grab it.

"Wait we should get that to forensics first," Rigsby protested meekly.

Jane gave him a look. "Do you really think there would be any usable fingerprints on this?"

The blond man looked around the small group waiting for someone else to object. As no one did, Jane picked up the rectangular object and held it pinched by one of its corners at eye level. His eyes were keenly committing everything to memory. The exact shade of the ink, the feel of the paper between his fingertips, even the whiteness of the paper. His focus stopped on the printed words _Theresa Lisbon_. He tilted his head slightly to the side, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"When do people go to the trouble of typing up an envelope?" Jane asked calmly as if it was a pop quiz, his eyes never leaving the paper he still held in front of him.

"When they don't want their handwriting to be identified," finished Cho.

* * *

Lisbon was carefully limping around her small, hospital room making sure she had everything packed in the small duffel Van Pelt had been nice enough to bring along with a spare change of clothes and her purse from her apartment. It was her usual black pants, a spaghetti-strapped white tank top and black jacket. Getting dressed herself hadn't been easy, but she had done it in the end albeit with a few moans and carefully controlled hisses. Bending over to tie her shoes though had nearly knocked her into unconsciousness. The senior agent had told Van Pelt that she needed her stuff for when she was released. However she had omitted the fact that she intended to leave earlier. Neither had she informed the rest of her team of her decision because that would have led to lots of objections and them babysitting her, not to mention Jane's incessant hovering.

Currently she was looking around to see if she had forgotten anything in her haste to leave. There might not be much to take back with her but she was just happy that she wasn't going to be lying on that bed any longer than the two days she had already spent here. Her doctor had told her she would need to stay at the hospital for a few more days due to the severeness of her concussion, which in other words meant observation. Well Lisbon just wasn't planning on staying that long, she had work to do.

Finally she grabbed her purse and bag and made her way out. The police officer was a little taken aback at seeing her leaving but she merely smiled tightly and passed by him to the nurse's station to demand her release papers. As a full grown adult she had the right to choose to leave. The nurse sitting there didn't seem to recognize her but Lisbon gave her her name and after a moment's confusion the nurse informed her that she was not supposed to leave just yet, doctor's orders and all.

"Yes I know that but I am going to be fine. So if you could just hand me my release papers I will gladly sign them," answered Lisbon as patiently as she could.

The nurse seemed to hesitate but in the end gave Lisbon the necessary paperwork. Without bothering to read through it, Lisbon rapidly signed it and handed it back. Just as she turned to leave the nurse asked, "Is there anybody that can take care of you for a few days?"

No there wasn't but she wasn't about to tell the nurse that. With a slight nod she hoped looked enthusiastic, Lisbon left. By the time she reached the first floor, she was beginning to wonder what she should do first. Obviously going to her apartment and getting her car so she could do groceries was high on her list but so was knowing what state her place was now in. Suddenly the very thought began making her feel uncertain about her rash decision but she quickly straightened her shoulders and went in search of a taxi. Lisbon found one quickly and just as easily was on her way home.

However the closer she got to her apartment building the tighter her stomach felt. By the time she was just a few blocks away Lisbon thought she was going to hyperventilate. Her logic kept trying to shut down this irrational fear but it was no use, her fear won in the end. Immediately she told the taxi driver to stop where he was and ignoring his questioning look, paid him and got out. He drove off without another glance and she was left standing four blocks away from home. It was early afternoon so she had plenty of time to run her errands. All she needed to do was get her car so there was no need to actually go into her building she thought. Hopefully her keys would still be inside her purse.

She searched through her purse sighing in relief when her fingers touched the cold metal of her key chain. Lisbon relaxed now that she knew for sure she wasn't going to have to go look for them in her apartment. She'll deal with that issue later in the day. With a new found energy, Lisbon walked towards her parked car beginning to feel the rising pain in her right leg and hip. The more steps she took, the more she began to limp until she barely put any weight on the injured leg. By the time she got to her parked car her jaw was clenched in repressed pain but she stubbornly refused to stop and sit down.

Once seated in her car, Lisbon exhaled loudly and leaned back onto the seat. Her hands were a bit shaky but that was all, nothing she couldn't handle. The little walk had taken a lot out of her but she refused to let that stop her. There was no way she was going back to that hospital. The hospital smell itself was enough of a deterrent.

So pushing that thought away, she went through her mental list of things to do until she realized that her gun might be in an evidence locker back at the CBI. Now she wasn't a paranoid person but having a gun in her current situation might be a good precaution. Suddenly her grip on the steering wheel tightened turning her knuckles white from the force as memories of how she couldn't get to her weapon in time flooded her vision. Quickly she clenched her eyes shut trying to dispel such thoughts. Next time would be different she said to herself. Next time she would be ready. Opening her eyes she forced herself to take long, calming breaths waiting for her muscles to relax.

Lisbon looked around the seemingly innocuous apartment buildings and tried to picture this place at night. The fact that she had to be extremely vigilant now when just a few days ago life had been relatively normal left an empty feeling within her. She could feel like she had passed through an invisible barrier and come out somehow changed on the other side. Life was no longer the same. She couldn't go to her apartment and pretend nothing had happened because wherever she would look it would be a painful reminder of what had transgressed there.

She remained still, staring into space not able to pin the feeling down. It took her a moment more to realize that she was experiencing things from the eyes of a victim, not as an officer of the law. The realization hit her hard as she thought of all the times she had faced victims and made gentle but confident statements on how her team would find the perpetrator. Lisbon could clearly remember the wide-eyed blank stare and the tension they all seemed to carry with them like a heavy, invisible burden. And now it was her. She almost felt sick at the thought.

Lisbon breathed quickly through her nose trying to get rid of the sudden lump that had taken vicious hold of her throat. She wasn't going to allow herself to be the victim, she just wasn't. If anything she was going to catch the guy herself. All she needed was her gun back and whatever her team had been able to put together since her... abduction. God, she couldn't even say the word.

Trying to think clearly amid her jumbled thoughts, Lisbon concluded that whoever had attacked her wouldn't do all this and not kill her when he had the chance. Of that she was absolutely convinced. It's as if he wanted to prolong the fear and the anxiety to torment her, which meant it was personal and premeditated. A few faces did come to mind but it was so long ago and there hadn't been any warning signs. There had been some really violent and dangerous criminals she had come across during her long career; she had even been on a few cases that had resulted in massive drug busts and mafia charges. But these people didn't usually wait years before striking.

Roughly, she inserted the proper key into the ignition not wanting to dwell on the matter any longer. One thing was for sure Lisbon thought grimly as she drove away, she needed to get a much better lock.

* * *

For some reason this chapter was very hard to write. I kept getting stuck. Hopefully the next chapter will be up faster than this one. REVIEWS?????


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